feeling good

NINA simone sings these words through my head phones. i do feel good after my morning gym ritual. puffy white clouds fill the blue sky, the foothills are green from all the rain that has poured over the san gabriel valley. another day filled with crazy people, rude people, weird people, nice people, young people, old people, pretty people, hideous people. hideous people are my favorite. more interesting to look at than pretty people. there is an aversion to both beauty and ugliness. i’m convinced everyone is my ex’s clone or relative in this town i somewhat grew up and find myself residing in once again. third interview next week, hopefully someone hires me!!!! i used to work at caltech and a position opened there in their library, i usually work in libraries, hopefully they will call me. blah blah hope hope yadda yadda. the drive thru coffee shop phenomenon. anything useful or poetic or any words to say elude me. the streets near my room were blocked off by police, news vans were there this morning. citrus college and apu pastors and azusans walk in and out of the walls where i lack in words. tinted windows with hidden drivers. please do get over yourself and quit hiding. who are you? what’s the point in anything? i still don’t know what i am doing or know what to do with my time. last night i missed going to a drawing class and did laundry at the laundromat instead which was a bad idea since it was so late and there were bums and random cholos drinking around the place. not safe and quite stupid of me to be there at night, it wasn’t that late, but still wasn’t wise. i need pepper spray.

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