Tag Archives: santa cruz

my half assed review of “us” or confused af, might google later

I heart santa cruz. i don’t heart horror films. i feel life is enough like a horror movie that i get to see for free on a constant basis, so i don’t see a need for the horror genre in my life. i do like learning of weird shit, one trivia being rasputin’s dick was supposedly kept in santa cruz but it turned out to be a sea cucumber. another strange link to rasputin is someone at ucsc created an instagram feed of rasputin look-alike’s on campus. not sure what it is with rasputin and santa cruz but i thought that was a random connection, but i digress. learning of santa cruz as the backdrop for a horror movie caught my interest as mentioned in my previous post, so i went to see the film. the films i usually see at the laemmle are indie, but this one is mainstream so there was a larger and more diverse crowd at the theatre. overall i thought it was weird. i was mostly bothered by the fact that they put a car on fire in/near the beautiful seabright neighborhood, putting homes there at risk and damaging the street, but alas. i also lied in my last post, apparently they have filmed quite a handful of films in sc, lost boys being the most popular, or only one im familiar with. the opening scene was creepy and well done, but everything seemed distant, perhaps purposely from the perspective of the child’s, but even the boardwalk itself seemed empty juxtaposed to lost boys where extras were shoulder to shoulder cheering on the shirtless spandex wearing saxophone player. set in 1986 in the opening scene, they referenced that they were filming a movie on the other side of the boardwalk but the only proof of it was the lead mentioning it as the board walk seemed mostly empty and silent. i loved that they captured real lightning at the beginning sequence. i didn’t understand the rabbits, was this a reference to another horror film? i read peele put in a lot of references to other horror films. but again, this is a not so great horror fan writing here. i did like the psychological concept behind the “shadow” characters, but why limit people to binaries? he doesn’t do this with the plot twist at the end and leaves one confused about the hands across america reference. at least to me..?? that being said, i enjoyed all the actors playing their characters and the shadow characters. i didn’t get a real sense of santa cruz in the film, again with it feeling rather empty with sparse and dead locals, leaving a strange feeling and tone of the film, which if this was the director’s aim, he has certainly accomplished it.

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going back to santa cruz

LAST night i dreamt i was on a bus to santa cruz. i was admitted to university of california, santa cruz in 2009 and enrolled in the winter of 2010 as a transfer student. what i didn’t know was my life would be forever changed by this decision and the pandora’s box it opened and continues to open to this day. every time i moved back to this town shit would hit the fan, and several problems erupted. the harsh beauty of the place ignited one problem after the next. not enough money to live there, not smart enough to study there, all against the backdrop of the bay or wintry winds and rain of the season. my divorce was ignited there, my sister went crazy while i was there, i attempted to finish school there twice and failed greatly yet i still want to go back. maybe i love drama and conflict. maybe i am spoiled and want to be among the beauty and scenery and crazy characters that is santa cruz. i just heard that the film “us” takes place in my achille’s heel, although most of it was filmed in los angeles, and the house was filmed in pasadena. in any event, i love that the city to date has only approved of filming horror movies, the last and only one being “the lost boys” back in the 80s. i met a descendant of george washington there, i met my crazy ex roommate who has peter pan syndrome there, i lived there with artists and musicians and drug dealers. i want to create a new story with this backdrop. i want to live there and thrive. i don’t want to merely speculate and watch what goes on around me, i want to be immersed in the culture and people. i can’t do that here in the suburbs of la. i’ve said before that i believe the internal reflects the external. no matter where i go, problems will follow, maybe in different forms, but they will still be there. since i do live with family, and the backdrop here is plain and boring, i could build a better foundation, try to become the person i want to be and allow the details of going back to santa cruz, if that is what fate allows, to unfold and fall into place on their own. i don’t want to be distracted by memories and the should or could haves. there are many things i should and could have done. i should have stayed in school, said fuck you to my ex husband and let him leave. i had no support up there, my only support is here and only because i am here. i need to be my own support system. lost in an identity crisis or not, my niche is definitely the different that resides in the northern beach town by the bay.

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